For years, I told myself I didn’t like anything funny. No funny quotes, no funny movies. What was the point of laughing?
I don’t know what was wrong with me. Somehow, I had convinced myself that life was supposed to be a serious journey: set your goals, work toward them, keep going, and don’t stop for anything. Certainly not for a silly little laugh.
I also had the impression that everything funny was either stupid or vulgar, or both.
Luckily, I either got wiser or life got a lot harder. Either way, I eventually realized that laughing is not a waste of time. Sometimes, it’s exactly what you need.
So I went looking for funny Italian sayings that are actually wholesome: no vulgarity, no cynicism, just the kind of proverb that makes you smile or laugh out loud. Some will hit you right away, some will sneak up on you when you read them a second time. Humor is subjective like that.
Save this list for when you need a little pick-me-up, and don’t forget to pin your favorite memes. Buon divertimento!
Table of Contents
30 Funny Italian Sayings That Made Me Think
I think the reason I love this list so much is because these sayings are both funny but also very real. They remind you of something you already know, sometimes it’s hilarious, sometimes it’s just an ugly truth told in a funny way.
Both types are helpful because they either make you laugh or help you look at something from a funny angle.
So, here’s how I plan on sharing this list: I will give you the Italian saying with the translation, and I will also share my thoughts on each of them. It’s a great way to give you food for thought, and also for you to get to know me better (should you want to). For my favorite ones, I will even include a funny meme for you to pin.
If this post gets enough likes, pins, shares, and love, I will come back and record the audio for all of them. So make sure to show your love before you leave. (thank you in advance!)
Let’s start, shall we?
PS: You’ll find a mix of Italian proverbs, idioms, and more modern expressions in this list. I chose the ones that I found genuinely funny, interesting, or surprisingly true, rather than simply collecting just the famous old proverbs.
1. Aiutati che Dio ti aiuta.
English: Help yourself and God will help you.
This makes me smile because it’s so obvious and also cringe because so many people ignore it, including me and you.
Who will help you if you don’t? It’s like waiting for the Universe to give you something you’ve never asked for. You’ve got to ask. You have to take the first step.
You’ve got to be your own doctor. You have to play that lottery.
So what is it that you’re not doing that could change your life?
This question is as much for you as it is for me.
2. Asino di natura chi non sa leggere la sua scrittura.
English: A natural-born donkey is someone who can’t read their own handwriting.
This one is an oldie but goodie. It’s probably the first saying I ever heard, and it was likely in school.
It always stayed with me, like many other things that made me a perfectionist. If your writing is not good enough for you to read, let alone someone else, then you have a problem!
And if you were born in the 80s like me, you likely heard of that thing they used to do in school, where they would attach donkey ears to kids who didn’t do well, so everyone else could mock them.
How sad and ugly was that?
The saddest part is that parents kept telling us about it to make us fear it, so that we would be good in school.
3. Chi di speranza vive disperato muore.
English: He who lives on hope dies in despair.
This is one of those that sounds funny but isn’t, although you might think it differently.
I personally think there’s nothing better than hope and dreams. It’s what keeps us going and fuels us to achieve more.
Hope also makes you happier, perhaps because it makes you delusional, but who cares?
We only get one life, and being happy now is the most important thing you can do for yourself and the others around you.
4. Chi dice donna dice danno.
English: Who says woman says trouble.
This is funny because it shows what men think about women, in this case Italian men. They love them, but they also fear them.
And it’s probably similar to how we think about men, isn’t it?
We likely know life would be easier without them, with fewer problems and arguments, but it would also be boring and lonely. So it’s better a little danno (damage) than a life of sadness!
If you agree, you can pin this to read next time your wife or husband makes you mad.
5. Chi fa da sé fa per tre.
English: He who does things himself does the work of three.
Not everyone will understand this, but if you’re someone independent, a little control freak, and who likes to do things on your own, you’ll get it immediately.
Of course, doing things together is so much fun. Of course, delegating is probably better in the long run. But if you can do something on your own, it’s the best way to get it done exactly like you want it and so much quicker.
Having said that, it’s impossible for us to do everything on our own, so it’s important we learn to ask for help too, and be patient enough to let the other person do it at their own pace.
6. Chi nasce tondo non muore quadrato.
English: Who is born round doesn’t die square.
I heard my dad and mum say this all the time, and I found it really funny, even though I still couldn’t understand what it meant.
Then, it hit me.
And as I grew older I found this saying very telling. If you agree with this, you’re old-minded.
Everything can change, including yourself.
The question is, do you really want to?
7. Chi non beve in compagnia o è un ladro o è una spia.
English: He who doesn’t drink in company is either a thief or a spy.
This is truly hilarious.
Of course, an Italian would say that, because they love company. But that doesn’t mean everyone is the same, does it?
As an introvert, I can tell you that I love my daily solo lunches. They give me the time to recharge, stop thinking, without having to interact with anyone else on my precious break.
I equally love having dinner with my husband.
I think this should remind us that it’s not all black and white. Life needs balance.
8. Chi si è scottato con l’acqua calda, ha paura anche di quella fredda.
English: He who has been burned by hot water is afraid even of cold water.
When I read this, I immediately thought, that’s so true.
And then this other saying came to mind: La paura è una brutta bestia.
It translates to: Fear is an ugly beast.
And it truly is.
Unfortunately, we’ve all experienced fear, and we know how paralyzing it can feel.
Of course, not every situation is the same, and most importantly, not every person reacts the same. That’s why learning to regulate your nervous system is so important, so you can keep going in a mindful way: prudent enough to stay safe, but not so scared that you’re not actually moving.
9. Chi si scusa si accusa.
English: He who excuses himself accuses himself.
As someone who likes being quiet, listening and observing, this is a big truth.
And it reminds me of this other saying that goes like this: mettere le mani avanti, meaning to justify yourself in advance.
If you have nothing to worry about, why would you do it? Why would you say sorry? Why would you justify yourself before being accused?
You’re actually showing you’re guilty.
All I can say is this: if you ever doubt someone, don’t let it show. Be normal, and let the person interact with you.
Most of the time, the truth will show up very clearly.
10. Chi si vanta da solo non vale un fagiuolo.
English: He who boasts about himself isn’t worth a bean.
Honestly, this is my worst pet peeve.
I hate people who speak about things before they’ve even started them. I really cringe if I hear someone bragging about anything, whether they have it or someone else has it.
That’s why I much prefer doing things quietly, and then letting the facts and results speak for themselves.
But I think there needs to be a little balance. Sometimes, it’s not so bad to show yourself off a little, especially if it helps your confidence and helps you celebrate your wins.
Just do it for you, not everyone else.
11. Chi va a Roma perde la poltrona.
English: He who goes to Rome loses his seat.
This is the one I’ve said the most in my life.
I said it to my dad when I would steal his favorite TV seat, and to my husband whenever it would make sense.
It just sounds so funny.
But it’s also very real. Unfortunately, we live in a world where being replaced is so easy. So our quest should be to build a life where we don’t have to fear it.
For me, it means finding a partner you can trust, no matter what, and being your own boss, so no one can steal your position if you go on maternity, for example.
But then again, there will always be a competitor who could steal your customers.
So I think it’s, again, a question of balance: what’s more important right now?
12. Dio li fa e poi li accoppia.
English: God makes them and then puts them together.
In Sicily, you hear this said a lot about engaged people (i fidanzati).
Family, neighbors, friends, always try to find a similarity between the two so they can use this saying.
For my husband and I, it was that we were both softly spoken and apparently calm people.
This saying leads us to that one that says opposites attract. I guess it’s a question of which one is the real one for your relationship.
Was it a similarity or a big difference that attracted you?
For me, it was definitely the difference.
I always liked different people, different cultures, and different opinions. It made life so much more interesting and beautiful.
And my husband was the opposite to me: blonde and blue-eyed, he looked like a foreigner, and he also spoke a language I loved but had not much opportunity to practice.
Of course, there are many more reasons that brought us together, fate being one of the biggest ones.
Do you believe in fate?
13. Donna al volante pericolo costante.
English: Woman at the wheel, constant danger.
This is very similar to number four, but let’s face it, sometimes it’s true.
I have my licence but I don’t drive, so I can only speak for what I see on the road.
Women here drive as if they’re on their own on the road, like there’s no one else. I am not sure whether it shows they’re selfish or too anxious to wait for their turn.
Of course, that doesn’t mean all women are that way, but the way some of them drive shows it.
Often, when they get into an accident it’s their fault, but they never want to admit it.
I am giggling because if a man reads this, he will probably think that’s exactly how women are in real life.
I am curious to know how the women in your country, state, or city drive. Are they better drivers than men, or is there no evident difference?
14. Fatta la legge, trovato l’inganno.
English: Once the law is made, the loophole is found.
Ever heard the saying “Le leggi sono fatte per essere rotte”? Laws are meant to be broken.
I think there’s a little bit of truth in there, and that’s coming from a person who’s the perfect citizen but has always been a rebel at heart.
It’s more about finding a way around it that makes more sense for you but also doesn’t harm anyone in the process.
Do we really have to be perfect all the time?
What I truly love the most about this is that it reminds us of how precious our mind is.
We can use it to do good and bad, in our favor and against it. If you love a challenge, you’ll get how exhilarating it is going on a quest to find the solution.
15. Fidarsi è bene, non fidarsi è meglio.
English: Trusting is good; not trusting is better.
For those of us who find it difficult to trust, this one sounds as true as the Bible.
If, on the other hand, you’re someone who trusts everyone like my husband, and gets burnt in the process, perhaps it can help you just reframe the way you approach life.
No one is telling you to change, but perhaps keep in mind that unfortunately, not everyone is as kind and genuine as you are.
So watch out!
16. I parenti sono come le scarpe: più stretti sono, più male fanno.
English: Relatives are like shoes: the tighter they are, the more they hurt.
I know this will ruffle some feathers, and I completely get it.
It really depends on your personality and life experiences.
So take it or leave it.
If you’re someone who likes being alone, doing your thing, you likely approach family relationships differently than those people who need to be around others all the time, who thrive on being with family, and truly never get enough of it.
I smile every time I see those kinds of families, but if you’re not that way, I also want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you.
You might be an introvert who needs more time alone than with others, and that’s okay too.
As a fellow introvert, here are my two cents: embrace that side of yourself, never feel sorry about the way you are, and most importantly, never let others tell you you’re wrong.
And know that the right people will get you.
17. I soldi non fanno la felicità, ma la imitano benissimo…
English: Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it imitates it very well…
Honestly, there’s so much I could say about this one.
Who on earth doesn’t want more money than they have? Perhaps it’s the biggest trillionaire, but surely not you or me.
There’s always something more you could do with more money, even if it’s just helping someone, or making your life easier so you can be more present with the people you love.
And let’s face it, we all dream of having that house, that car, that closet, those vacations, and the financial stability that can help us worry less and laugh more.
Of course, if you had to choose between money and health, you’d choose health, because without health your money will go to the next of kin.
But if you’re rich in sickness, you have so many more opportunities to help yourself.
So I really don’t get this hate on money.
I just wish the world was more equal, and we could all have a fair share, starting with the people who are starving.
18. Il marito geloso muore cornuto.
English: The jealous husband dies cheated on.
This one makes me laugh so hard because it’s kind of true.
Your energy attracts half of what you get. So if you live in fear, if you always doubt people, you’ll start attracting the exact thing you are fearing so much.
Tell me I am not the only one who has experienced that?
19. L’ospite è come il pesce: dopo tre giorni puzza.
English: A guest is like a fish: after three days, it starts to stink.
Even if you’re a people pleaser, a family person, and love being around others, I think everyone has their limit.
Everyone wants to go back to a routine they love and find comfort in.
And that’s what this is really about.
There are some things that are best when kept short.
Do you agree?
20. La gatta frettolosa fece i gattini ciechi.
English: The hasty cat made blind kittens.
If you’re a calm person, and also a perfectionist, you’re likely screaming at the screen: yes!
I always say it: “Chi va piano, va lontano” (who goes slowly goes far).
Why rush everything?
I don’t believe in putting up things that are not good enough. What’s the point in doing something if I am not doing it right?
Is that the team you’re on?
It is for me.
21. Morto un papa se ne fa un altro.
English: When one pope dies, another one is made.
This is kind of sad but true.
Unfortunately, life does go on, and we see it with our loved ones who have passed away.
Initially, it’s really hard, so hard you can barely eat or sleep, but then life must go on. You need to start eating and sleeping. You need to go back to work.
And those loved ones wouldn’t want it any other way.
Of course, this could also be taken another way. It can also mean that no one is replaceable, so don’t take things for granted, whether it’s your marriage or your position.
I think for the people who mean the most to you, you will be irreplaceable, and that’s why it’s so worth taking time to find those people and keep them in your life forever.
22. Chi non risica non rosica.
English: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Are you a risk taker, or the opposite?
Either way, life is about taking risks.
Of course, there are risks and risks. Jumping out of a plane sounds like a stupid risk to take, at least to me, but there are many more risks worth taking, like going to speak to that girl you like, or taking a chance on that business idea you’ve been putting off.
So ask yourself this:
What risk should you take a chance on right now?
23. Lontano dagli occhi, lontano dal cuore.
English: Out of sight, out of mind.
This reminds us that even the most introverted people need to be around their loved ones, at least if they want to maintain the relationship, because love and friendship need to be nurtured.
So make the effort.
Even if it’s a message, a call, or a quick visit. Something little that doesn’t cost you much but can make the other person feel appreciated and loved.
Think about it.
Which person or relationship have you neglected lately?
24. Troppi cuochi guastano la cucina.
English: Too many cooks spoil the kitchen.
This reminds me of something I heard at uni, about the best management system having clear roles and ranking, because it’s usually best when there’s a clear person in charge, at least for each task or each unit.
When you have multiple people in charge, things usually move slower. It also confuses the people who are being managed.
Having said that, I do believe that some companies do well under a more loose, creative management system, but it all depends on the people involved and the owner of the company.
I guess the same could be true for home life?
Isn’t it better to have someone in charge of cooking and someone in charge of cleaning?
Or are you all about going with the flow rather than having strict rules?
I think that can be beautiful but requires more coordination.
25. Non sempre chi sa parlare ha le cose migliori da dire.
English: Those who know how to speak don’t always have the best things to say.
If you’re a quiet person who speaks only when it really matters, you get it.
How often do you hear people talk about nothing? How often do you hear people trying to look like experts when they are clearly not?
There’s nothing wrong about loving to chat and sharing your opinions. That’s exactly what I am doing right now.
But it’s important to do it with the right mindset.
I never want to sound like I know more than you, that I know it all, etc., etc.
I am just here to share inspiration, an idea, and perhaps with this one help you smile and reflect at the same time.
26. Oggi a me domani a te.
English: Today me, tomorrow you.
Life can be unpredictable and we all know it, so don’t go thinking that you’re the unluckiest person on earth.
We’re all living in the same world. No one is safer than you are.
They might have more money, a larger home, more cars, etc., but there are things that once they hit you, nothing else really matters.
The best we can do is be grateful, live life to the full, and keep dreaming and believing.
27. Chi non muore si rivede.
English: “Who does not die is seen again.
This one makes me smile because it is one that older people love to tell each other when they meet friends they haven’t seen in a while.
And isn’t that one of the most wholesome images of la dolce vita?
Old people meeting in a piazza, talking about the past and sharing stories about their current lives.
I invite you to stop and look at those sights just as much as you do with places like the Duomo or the Colosseum.
28. Chi aspetta aiuto dai parenti aspetta fino a quando gli cascano i denti.
English: He who waits for help from relatives waits until his teeth fall out.
I don’t think this is always the truth. And I hope you agree with me.
But I believe who said it first meant something like this: it’s better to get paid help because you get it quicker and they also do a better job.
Have you experienced that?
I have indirectly through my parents’ and my clients’ experiences.
I personally don’t like mixing family and friends with business.
What about you?
But it’s also important not to be rigid all the time.
29. Non fasciarti la testa prima di rompertela.
English: Don’t bandage your head before you break it.
If you’re the anxious type, the overthinker, the over-planner, you need to hear this.
And you also need to hear the other thing: things will go wrong, and when they do, just embrace them and make the most of the situation.
In the meantime, just enjoy the moment without thinking about the what-ifs!
30. Ai pazzi si dà sempre ragione.
English: One always agrees with crazy people.
This is hilarious and also difficult if you’re someone who wants to always win the conversation, especially when you know you’re right.
But sometimes, it’s not worth it.
Is it?
30 More Funny Italian Sayings To Make You Smile
I think I have shared enough of my opinions for one post, so I am going to leave you with the remaining funny Italian sayings and their translations. Enjoy!
31. Una ciliegia tira l’altra.
English: One cherry leads to another (like when you can’t stop eating that huge pack of crisps).
32. Ognuno tira l’acqua al suo mulino.
English: Everyone draws water to their own mill (it’s human nature to think about oneself first).
33. Quando il gatto non c’è, i topi ballano.
English: When the cat’s away, the mice dance.
34. Meglio un uovo oggi che una gallina domani.
English: Better an egg today than a chicken tomorrow.
35. Chi male una volta si marita, ne risente tutta la vita.
English: He who marries badly suffers from it all his life.
36. Non tutte le ciambelle escono col buco.
English: Not every doughnut comes out with a hole (not everything that’s supposed to be in a particular way actually is).
37. Patti chiari, amicizia lunga.
English: Clear agreements make for a long friendship (it’s good to lay things clearly at the beginning of every relationship).
38. Far venire il latte ai gomiti.
English: To make the milk come up to your elbows (when something really makes you angry).
39. Tutto finisce a tarallucci e vino.
English: Everything ends with taralli and wine (meaning everything ends well).
40. Ogni scarrafone è bello a mamma sua.
English: Every beetle is beautiful to its mother.
41. Non capisci un’acca.
English: You don’t understand a thing (acca means h in Italian).
42. Non mi importa un fico secco.
English: I don’t care a dried fig (you’re welcome to start saying this around your loved ones when you really can’t take it anymore but want to be polite).
43. Non me ne frega un tubo.
English: I don’t give a tube (this means the same as the previous one)
44. Non mi fa né caldo né freddo.
English: It neither makes me hot nor cold (this means you don’t care)
45. Non mi passa manco per l’anticamera del cervello.
English: It doesn’t even pass through the antechamber of my brain (it means you actually would have never thought about it, or about doing something).
46. Ma che stiamo a pettinare le bambole?
English: What are we doing, combing dolls? (what are we doing?, are we wasting time?)
47. Non sta né in cielo né in terra.
English: It belongs neither in heaven nor on earth (it doesn’t make any sense)
48. Avere la testa per spartire le orecchie.
English: To have a head just to separate your ears (it means your head is useless; not yours, of course!)
49. Non avere tutti i venerdì a posto.
English: Not to have all your Fridays in order (fridays is a replacement for rotelle, which means wheels, it’s like when you tell someone you’re not in your right frame of mind).
50. Nascere con la camicia al contrario.
English: To be born with your shirt on backwards (another way to say you’re born unlucky; it comes from the saying “nascere con la camicia”, when someone is born really lucky).
51. Avere le fette di salame sugli occhi.
English: To have slices of salami over your eyes (you are not able to see what’s right in front of you, usually because of some emotion).
52. Cercare il pelo nell’uovo.
English: To look for a hair in an egg (when you try to find something wrong in everything).
53. Prendere fischi per fiaschi.
English: To mistake whistles for flasks (understanding the opposite of what was said).
54. Avere la testa tra le nuvole.
English: To have your head in the clouds.
55. Rimanere come un carciofo.
English: To be left like an artichoke (your reaction when you weren’t expecting something to happen).
56. Fare i salti mortali.
English: To perform backflips (to try really hard at something).
57. Nascere con i piedi all’incontrario.
English: To be born with your feet backwards (told to someone who is very clumsy).
58. Cercare Maria per Roma.
English: To look for Maria throughout Rome (going on an impossible quest, because there are going to be many Marias in a city as big as Rome..).
59. Perdersi in un dito di vino.
English: To get lost in a finger of wine (told to someone who makes a big deal out of a tiny issue).
60. Mordersi le mani.
English: To bite your hands (when you’re so angry you want to bite your hands).
Want More Italian Culture & Dolce Vita?
Which one is your favorite?
41 and 49 are really funny to say to someone. And 42-44 are quiet liberating when you’re angry.
I think that’s the beauty of sayings like these. Sometimes they make you laugh because they are ridiculous, sometimes because they are brutally honest, and sometimes because you suddenly realize that your grandparents were right all along.
And if you have a funny Italian saying that I missed, tell me about it. I might just have to add it to the list!
Don’t forget to share the love on this one (like, share with your friends, and pin this on Pinterest; it all helps – grazie di cuore!).
If you’d like to chat with me directly, come join my Italian newsletter. It’s called Buona Settimana (meaning happy week) as it arrives in your inbox every Sunday, before a new week starts. We talk about life, Italian food, culture, fashion, and travel. And I answer every email or comment you send me (promised!).
Here are more reads similar to this one:
26 Italian Life Quotes To Live By & Inspire You Every Day
15 Simple Ways To Curate A Dolce Vita Lifestyle
11 Italian Cultural Values: Beyond Pasta And Dolce Vita
Top 500 Most Common Italian Last Names With Meaning + Origin
Thank you so much for reading.
A presto,
Alessia
